The glamorous life of an author …

I thought, when my life-long dream was realised and I held my first book in my hand, that it was going to be different. You know, book signings, award dinners, publishers’ parties … the kind of stuff that authors do.

Instead, let me tell you what this week has consisted of so far! I’ll let you into a secret, a lot of it involves rain …

Image from Pixabay.

On Monday, it started by not being able to get my daughter out of bed to start school. This took about one and a half hours of tears and tantrums (and that was just me). By the time I finished this, I had lost all the time I had set aside to set up my social media posts for the week, and I had also lost the inclination to do them. It’s hard to be happy happy happy, fluffy kittens, pink cupcakes and clouds after a morning spent arguing with an angry teen. I find it hard enough on a normal day to pretend to be sweet and nice. I rushed out a couple of posts and resolved to do better tomorrow. I took my usual walk before lunchtime, I’m trying to do 10,000 steps a day, but this takes time. An hour and a half walking round our boring suburban streets in the rain I had achieved about 8,000 of my 10,000 steps, and lost a further hour and a half of potential writing time. I spent the afternoon editing. I’m finishing off a book which I absolutely loved writing. It has a grouchy heroine, a grumpy hero, and a pink fluffy cupcake cafe which both of them hate. I can almost guarantee that no-one will want to publish it – you know, it’s just not happy, happy, happy, fluffy kittens, pink cupcakes and clouds. I did the final 2,000 steps in the evening as I went to the supermarket for the weekly shop. I may not have got much actual work done, but at least we’ve got enough fresh fruit to see us through the week.

Tuesday was almost as glam as Monday. At least my daughter made it out of bed today! I spent the morning delivering Avon orders in the rain (yes, I supplement my writing income by selling cosmetics. I make more selling cosmetics than I do from my books. I don’t make much selling cosmetics.) and I did get some editing done in the afternoon. At least the deliveries meant that I did my 10,000 steps without a struggle. I tried to channel my happy happy happy vibes and think of entertaining, relevant and witty things to say on social media. I failed. I resolved to do better tomorrow.

Image from Pixabay.

Wednesday? On my authorly “to do” list for Wednesday was “Write blog post. Social media. Finish editing and print out.” Well, let’s see how that went shall we? First, I had to take my husband (in a lot of pain) down to the dentist and wait for him to have a tooth removed, because he wouldn’t be able to drive back. This meant sitting in the car in the pouring rain, worrying about teeth, in the centre of Middlesbrough. It doesn’t get more glamorous than that, does it? When I got back, there were a couple more deliveries to do that I didn’t manage yesterday. In the rain. I noticed that the garden was partially underwater when I got back. Finally, after lunch, I sit at my computer. Now, I will admit that my computer is quite glam. It’s rose gold, very satisfying to type on, and it sits on my lovely wooden desk, in the room we lovingly refer to as “the library”. At my glamorous computer on my satisfyingly bookish desk, I spent rather more time than I should have done agonising over whether my hero should use the F word or not. (The decision was that he should, because it suits his mood. If I ever have an editor, it can be their problem. I am unlikely ever to have an editor, by the way, because no-one in their right minds will publish a book where the heroine is mean to everyone and the hero uses the F word.) By the time I finish agonising over the F word, my husband comes down to say that his mouth is still bleeding and we have to go back to the dentist. I panic (I do that a lot these days), I use the F word myself, and spend another hour in Middlesbrough in the rain, and boy, it really is raining. We drive back on roads that are starting to resemble rivers. I do not write my blog post. Instead, I have a cup of tea, and hope that soon my hands will stop shaking. By the time I have cooked the kids tea, and our tea, and washed up, and had a walk to get those final few steps, I’m done for. No energy left at all. The garden is now completely submerged. I did not write a blog post, I did not do anything on social media, I did not finish editing, I did not print out! I resolved to do better tomorrow.

Image from Pixabay. I had a picture of my own to post, but apparently it’s a security risk.

Thursday. Oh well, there’s always today. Now, if I could just persuade my daughter to get out of bed …

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